Pawtucket Red Sux stop Yankees from winning Division

Well, the season's over... OH NO IT ISN'T!! Except if you're a Red Sux fan! The Red Sux did get the last word in on the regular season though by beating us and preventing us from winning the Division. The way the Yanks are playing, this could be a short post season, though I doubt it, but it doesn't matter, this city can finally shut up for a few months while they watch their Patriots and Celtics. Of course as I type the Rays just tied up the game so maybe a Yankees win wouldn't have mattered. Again, it doesn't matter, the Sux fans gave their goodbyes to that cunt Varitek who's not coming back, and possibly Big Retardi as well. There is some solace to this because that moron Papeldouche did give up a run in the 9th!
The Offices of Ftheredsox will remain open during the winter don't you worry about that, there will be playoff coverage and parade coverage as well!
No, after today, Fenway will be quiet, Yawkey way will be quiet and MASSHOLES all over Red Sux County can only think about next year!!!!!!

HOT OFF THE PRESS!

I figured why not spread a little love around the city and the world!
Just got these bumper stickers today, if you like let me know and I can send you one.

Required reading for Sports Writers... The Official Rules of Baseball and The Bible!

I wasn't going to comment on this whole Jeter thing because nobody in Boston was saying boo. But then Bob Ryan threw together an article taken from every other sports writer in the world and bashed Jeter. Mantle was a drunk and a womanizer, Ruth was drunk and a womanizer, Boggs cheated on his wife, Cobb was rabid racist, Marchial charged the mound with a bat, and Jeter, faked getting hit by a pitch!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME???
Oh Derek Jeter, holy than thou, since when? Sure he's the face of the franchise, first ballot hall of famer, gamer, but when have we hoisted him up beyond error?
If you've ever played the game of baseball you take whatever you can get from the umpire, that's a fact, that's what you do in baseball. Especially when the game is on the line, come on, that's baseball 101.
This is the last thing I'll say about this... People found an opening in Jeter, he's having a somewhat off year, now they just bash, bash, bash.
I was forced to write this, I didn't want to say shit about this because every article you read about this is a sign of a lazy writer. Your story is written for you, throw in a moral angle and you're done. What's with this moral angle by the way? Since when are all the sports writers in the world suddenly following Glenn Beck?
This is pathetic, and I'm sorry I wasted your time.

Half Caveman, Half Retard, we must be talking about Damon

The phones at the Ftheredsox have been ringing off the hooks since this afternoon. Everyone I know outside of Boston is asking, "Will Damon go back to the Sox"? I'm sure by now you know that the Red Sux have claimed John Damon off waivers from the Tigers, now Damon has 48 hours to decide if he wants to return to Yawkey Way. What do you think? Actually I don't really care what you think, so scratch that, this is my blog!
The Sux have a hill to climb to get back into the playoffs this year, the Tigers have Kilimajaro! John could go back, and he definately could help them make a push, but does he really want to? He left on bad terms with the Sux management, the fans have slowly come to accept him, but he still has a scar from the Sux treatment. He comes back, helps them back into it and all is forgotten about his little stint with the Yanks.
I was never a Damon fan, I always thought the guy was half retarded and threw like one as well. But he came through for us especially last year, who can forget that double steal? One inch of a mistake and that play doesn't get done, it was perfect!
Most of the Sux fans they interviewed said they'd like to have him back, all the Sux players said they would love to have him back. In the end, he probably goes back to the Sux. Even though he got the shaft when he left he does want to get back to the post season, and the Sux are his only chance for that. But what happens after the season, because let's be honest, the Sux aren't getting into the post season, does he retire? I have to stop now because this post is starting to sound like the usual drivel you hear on a daily basis from other bloggers that try to spark conversation or devle into the mind of ballplayers. I'm completely talking out of my ass currently, and you really shouldn't be listening, except for when I say this...
SCREW YOU MASSHOLES, YOU AIN'T GETTING IN THE POST SEASON, NOT DAMON, NOT BIG RETARDI, NOT PAPELDOUCHE, NOT GAYLORD PEDROIA, NOT EVEN A NOVENA TO ST. JUDE ARE GOING TO HELP YOU WIN THIS YEAR.
MAYBE YOU GUYS SHOULD TRY PRAYING TO ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI, BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU ARE, A BUNCH OF SISSIES!!

Lou Gehrig attempting to roll over in his grave

The MASSHOLES just can't leave well enough alone can they? I mean how far does this hatred have to go before it really get's out of hand? A report that was recently published said that Lou Gehrig may not have had ALS. The reports goes on to state that he may have been misdiagnosed with this ailment. He may have had trauma on his brain as a result of too many concussions, how do you like that. But why are we covering this story you're asking? As everyone knows ALS was pretty much renamed Lou Gehrig Disease after he died. That's not bad, huh? You're such a great ballplayer and human being they name a disease after you... OR SO YOU THOUGHT!
Where do you think this report came from that basically called Lou Gehrig a liar for having this disease... You guessed it, BOSTON!
MASSHOLES just hate anything to do with the Yankees that they will even sully the good name of Lou Gehrig, pathetic! That would be like finding out that David Ortiz isn't retarded. I mean the guy is Big Retardi, and you're telling me he isn't retarded? What do I call him now? Or that Papelbon really isn't a Douchebag, but he must be, because I call him Papel-douche, right?
This report really makes me reconsider nicknames I give to Red Sux ballplayers in the future, it really threw me for a loop. As long as Manny Ramirez can still be called a Crack Whore... what, he doesn't smoke crack?
OH NO, I'm done.

Vacation Over, Red Sux suck, the Red Sux suck!

Greetings everyone! Remember me? I know, I know, where the hell have we been right?
Well to be honest we've moved to Rhode Island and haven't... OH WAIT! THAT'S NOT US, THAT'S THE BLABBER MOUTH CURT SCHILLING!! Did you hear that news lately folks? Good ole Curt Schilling is abandoning his state of MA. to move to Rhode Island. Well not him personnally I don't think but his company 38 Pitches, the nerve of that guy. The loyalty this great state showed him and he turns around and drops you like a cold, just for money, that's right folks, just for money. Man, he's like school on Thanksgiving, a no class turkey!
But I digress... where have we been? We finally got our new offices up and running and the internet connection is working fine, but... wait, I'm not going to lie to you, we've been on vacation this entire time, can't we take some time off for ourselves? We were supposed to have a guest blogger but that plan backfired. But we are seeking any guest bloggers out there that would like to submit articles for this site. Just email us at - burninhellredsox@hotmail.com to submit an article and if it fits the structured, guidelines we have for this spot on blog we run, we'll post it, and give you some credit, no we'll give you all the credit.
What's been going on since we last left you? Well we see George Steinbrenner got in one last firing before his death... his heart, it wasn't beating properly so he canned it! Bad taste? Come on, we got so many condelences when he died, which was nice, but come on folks. I grew up in the 80's when he was the most hated man in NY, so my feelings are mixed on his passing. Sure it's sad someone died, but I'm not broken up about it. JAY BUHNER FOR KEN PHELPS????? That's all I'll say on the subject.
I see the Red Sux have got even suckier since we last talked, but did this columnist really not see that coming? No the city is pretty quiet now a days looking towards the Football season, which of course we love to see. They have no faith in that team, these fair weather massholes!!
Well, now that we are back, you can look forward to more riveting commentary on a more regular basis. And if you don't think it's not riveting then you can go screw and stop reading this blog... but you know you won't... YOU MASSHOLE!

A History Lesson

Greetings everyone!
The offices of Ftheredsox have been closed for renovations these past weeks but we are now back in business. In the time we were closed we saw the Sux falter big time but also gain some ground. But guess what, the city doesn't really seem to care that much. All the sports buzz that's happening in this city is about the Celtics, the Sux are taking a backseat to the action happening in TD Garden for the playoffs. The C's are playing the Lakers, which should be a good showdown, but I digress.
When I started this little blog five years ago... can you believe it's been five years? When I started this little blog a Yankees fan was something that wasn't brought up much in conversation, well let me correct that. A Yankees fan wasn't something brought up much in conversation unless it was about ways to put a beating on one. But now we have entered what I call the "Middle Ages in Boston". The Dark Ages as I like to call it though some historians will disagree with me was taking place right around the time when I started this blog. The Yankees were still the Yankees though hadn't won a World Series in a while, but the Red Sux had won 2 championships during that time period. Yankees fans were still prevalent, but hiding out, or living under rocks as many hermits did during the Dark Ages of the
13th century. This blog was being written under the watchful eye of many MASSHOLES or like the Dark Ages, the Church. Everything that was written was heavily scrutinized, nothing was sacred and death sentences were constant. But now the Yankees have won 1 we are back on top of the world and the Age of Enlightenment isn't far off, but I get ahead of myself, the Middle Ages still have to be conquered. Now that the rocks have been turned over and people are wearing the Yankees colors more openly now we see a happening that is going on in Boston, which of course many people that are still living in the Dark Ages are not too happy about. There are Yankees Fan Meet-Up groups in Boston now, something five years ago that would be suicide. This one Yankees Fan Meet-up group has like 500 members and going strong, they get together for games and everything. It's like in "Goodfellas" when Henry Hill says, "It was a glorious time for Wiseguys". And that is what's happening now! Though we still take many precautions at Ftheredsox because there are still many nuts out there that hold grudges, so we still can't take that chance and reveal ourselves. But our time is coming, the Age of Enlightenment is just around the corner and our time is coming.