SOMETHING A MASSHOLE CAN NEVER SAY!

HEY MASSHOLES... SUCK MY MOTHER FUCKING WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP BALLS!

It's over this great season of Baseball has come to a close. And guess what... THE YANKEES WON THE WORLD SERIES!! It's my first time living in Boston full time that the Yankees are a world champs, and boy it's the best feeling in the world! As a Yankee fan I have always known I am already a better person than most people, that's just a Yankees' fans credo, we are the best team and we are the best fans. Red Sux fans just don't realize that, and they never will, and man, does that make them mad, mad as hell!! So yes, I did wear my Yankees blue yesterday and today, and no matter how many dirty looks I get(and there are quite a bit), I don't care, this shield of World Champions for 2009 just blocks all those MASSHOLES that wish death upon me, SUCK IT BITCHES!!
This Yankees team got nothing but bashed before the season and in the beginning. I remember ESPN saying they can't win with Derek Jeter, he's too old... Look I can go on and on about those bastards at ESPN, but it doesn't matter, I don't watch it anymore since getting the MLB channel, I suggest you do the same.
For now I'll just gloat as much as I can, because nothing pisses off a MASSHOLE more than the Yankees winning it all. Actually nothing pissess off a MASSHOLE more than being a Yankees fan living in Boston...so I'm pretty muched fucked! But it's worth it!!

FUCKING MASSHOLES!

The Ftheredsox offices get tons of letters/emails from Yankee fans daily. The most requests we get are usually from visiting Yankee fans or translplanted ones to Boston, and they always want to know where a Yankees friendly bar is. We repeatedly tell them... THERE ISN'T ONE. And this past weekend really drove my point home.
I have been living on and off in Boston since 1993 when I was in college, but since 2000 I have been here full time and the events that I will describe to you really make me consider if I should continue to live here. As it says in Ftheredsox's mission statement, "I love the city the Boston", but this weekend I was embarrassed to say I am a resident.
I joined some friends for drinks at a popular bar on Friday night, I was very hesitant to go out because it was game 1 of the ALCS, but I was convinced to attend because I was told the place will have a bunch of TV's on and you can watch it there. Needless to say the bar was airing episodes of "Family Guy" instead the entire night, no Yankees game. I took it in stride, members of the Ftheredsox community were sending me score updates so it wasn't so bad, I ducked out early anyway to catch the final innings, ok, so they weren't showing the game at one bar, dissappointed, yes, but life goes on. Saturday night was basically the same routine, friends were going out, asked me to join, I was reluctant, but was familiar with the bar we were going to and knew it had a lot of TV's and it showed sports all the time, so I went. WHAT A KICK IN THE BALLS THAT WAS!!! No game! I said to myself,I'm not taking this anymore, I need to see this game, they have at least 10 TV's in the joint, give me one at least. Now, I admit I shouldn't have drank so much when I broached this subject with the bartender, but it just happened, I snapped. I said to the MASSHOLE slinging brews behind the belt to turn the Yankees' game on, it's the playoffs. This fucking R-less motherfucker looked at me like I just asked him to play the sex tape he made when he was molested by his parish priest. "EEERRRRRAAAA you's fuckin crazy, no Yankees at this BAAAAAAA" I said come on man, it's the playoffs, just turn that one on, and I pointed to a TV that was facing the bathroom door in the corner of the place. He said, "NO". I asked again, he was getting pissed, and glanced over to his manager some little pip-squeak at the other end of the bar. This wanna-be mobsters just shook his head and closed his eyes. I remember he closed his eyes when he did it, and I was like what the hell is this? I felt like Bonassera in the Godfather asking for justice because they beat my daughter like an animal. And this fucker was like that is not justice, you can go to any other bar and watch the game!! That's when I started to raise my voice a bit and may have called the bartender a dick, I can't be certain. Next thing I know Bobo and JoJo the bouncers were standing behind me asking me to leave. So I left, no incident, was able to get home for the last couple of innings anyway.
But COME ON MAN! They would not show the game because it was the Yankees, that was just bullshit! For all you Yankee fans living outside of Boston, how would you like that? Go to your local bar to watch the game and they shut you out! That's what I go through everyday up here.
I tell you, I don't know how much longer I can live in Boston.

Hey PAPEL-BLOWN, your Irish jig lessons start next week!

Well, well, well, look what we have here? No Baseball in Boston anymore for the rest of the year!WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I was at a birthday party for a friend's daughter yesterday, the kid was turning 8 and it was a great day...until! I'm telling you, the day was going great, lot's of people having a great time, the MASSHOLES (which I was surrounded by) were coming in and out of the house updating everyone at the party on the score of the game, really getting their hopes up. "Oh when the Sox win today, they will win the next two ballgames" You know that type of stuff. Then within about five minutes the joyful party for an 8 year old turned into a crowd of people waiting outside a hospital room because that 8 year old was just in a horrible car crash. Everyone waiting outside talking to each other how everything would be alright, then Dr. Papelbon delivers the news... the child was dead! Oh, this poor child taken so young, nobody could control themselves, the mother passes out, the other guests start to argue with the doctor, it's chaos. That was exactly how the afternoon went yesterday, and for me, it was Glorious!
What have I been saying over and over? PAPEL-DOUCHE sucks! The Sux are a push over and they finally proved that yesterday. What I thought was so poetic, was that the greatest closer in Baseball history Mariano Rivera pitched last night, and pitched perfectly. That's how you close a game!
Oh Boston, the city is quiet, not just quiet, more of a colossal band of people leaving a funeral that just ended at the gravesite. You know, you all walk away, not saying a word, nodding your head to other guests, but just wandering away with your head down, not wanting to say a word, just making your way back to your car and driving away. The people of Boston are in that car right now, just hopelessly driving, forgetting exactly where they are going, but thankfully the car in front of them has their headlights on leading the way.
For a Yankees Fan living in Boston... HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!
YOU FUCKING MASSHOLE, FAIR-WEATHER PIECE OF SHIT FANS, YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVED, YOUR TEAM WASN'T THAT GOOD, YOU SIGN WAGNER THINKING HE WOULD BE YOUR HELP AND LOOK HE SUCKED IT UP FOR YOU AND THEN HE TOOK DOWN PAPEL-TARD WITH HIM. WAGNER IS AN EX-MET, THAT SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU SOMETHING. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Tuna Melts, Frozen heads and of course, MASSHOLES!

FrozenTeddySticks


The playoffs start this week, I'm not really worried about the Yanks, I mean come on, over a 100 wins, best team in Baseball, hands down! The Sux on the other hand will not be getting past the Angels, I repeat, the Sux don't get out of first round. The Sux are basically just a push over, and the Angels will realize that this weak, and then Red Sux County will soon realize they are following a pathetic team made up of sub-par performers.
A good friend of mine Nick Turturro has a show on MLB network where he talks about his love for the Yankees, it's a really good show. In it he talks about how the Red Sux players just "look" like they belong in a Red Sux uniform. He's so right, I can't imagine Varitek, or Pedroia, wearing another uniform, they just look like Red Sux, which in turn means they just look like MASSHOLES!!
By now you've read all the articles about Teddy Ballgame's head, I added a link in case you haven't. I was never a fan of Williams, sure he was one of the greatest hitters to play the game, but he was a major league douche bag. And you're telling me that guy in the article that is described as taking a whack at the head to dislodge it isn't your protypical MASSHOLE? Yes, this place is in Arizona, but I can see that same thing happening right here in Boston....

Locaton: ALCOR Labortories East, South Boston, MA.

Scene: Two lab technichians enter the labatory and notice there is a problem with one of the products.

Sully The Lab Tech
"Dude, I'm tellin ya, dat darkie sitting on da corna beggin fa change was da
Reverend Desmond Tutti"

Pauly The Lab Tech #2
"Come on man, ya fuckin nutz, dare is no way dat was Tutti, he looked morrr like
dat guy from da show Homicide, ya..."

Sully The Lab Tech
"HOLY SHIT BRA! what happend to da Splinta's head? It's frozen to ya tuna can"

Pauly The Lab Tech #2
"Goooddd Dammn it! I was going to make some tuna lata, I just put da head on top
because I opened da can, but wasn't hungry yet, so I wanted to keep the top shut
now look what happened, Teddy Ballgame's dead head is frozen to the da can! Oh, my
Ma is goin' kill me!

Sully The Lab Tech
"Now wait, we can fix dis, what da ya think would be moooorrr fitting to da Natural
after getting youuurr head frozen to a tuna can? huh? You's guessed it, knock dat
motha off like you was hittin fungos!

Pauly The Lab Tech #2
"AW Jeez, you's right, he'd be proud to get dis-jarred like dat, wouldn't he? Oh, jeezz, you betta do it, those 14 beers we had at lunch aint' helpin me none, ok?"

Sully The Lab Tech
"Ok, you's right, I had 12 beers at lunch, so I am definately mooorrr soba than you's is. Give me dat monkey wrench will ya, now stand back and watch how it's done!"

The Lab technician takes two swings before hitting the target and on the last swing he finally connects with a shot that powers the head clear to the other side of the room. Both men jump around giving high fives to each other...

Pauly The Lab Tech #2
"You's did it, bra! Ya did it! Dat fucka never stood a chance, ya whacked dat clear
ta Somerville. I tell ya bra, I ain't never been more's proud of ya"

Sully The Lab Tech
"Thanks man, I tells ya, that was probably da single greatest moment of my life,
I mean, I actually got to hit Ted William's frozen head just like he's did all dooos
years ago wit da baseball, I feel like a 100 bucks! I know somewherrraa up in heaven
Old Teddy Ballgame is watchin me and saying, nice hit kid, you done me justice by
using a monkey wrench to knock my head clear off a tuna fish can so we can put it
back in da freezerrrraa for storage, today you are a ball playa!

Pauly The Lab Tech #2
"I am so proud of ya man, I really am, now I think saw Martin Luther King's head
stuck to can of olives downstairs, let's knock da shit out of dat colored guy"

I see you MASSHOLE

I recently got an email from the good people at Google Blogs and they told me they had reports that my little blog here was a "spam" blog! They sent me a form to fill out to verify that it wasn't and said that should take care of the misunderstanding, but if not, my blog will be shut down in 20 days! WHAT WHAT WHAT?
It seems MASSHOLES have learned to read and use the internet, because that's the only group I can think of that would do such a dastardly act. Talk about hitting below the belt, huh?
Not too wory my loyal fans, at this moment the entire staff of Ftheredsox are sitting down to watch movies such as "Braveheart", "We are Marshall" and "Rocky" for that inspiration to keep going. Then we'll pop in "Fever Pitch" and "Good Will Hunting" for that know thy enemy bullshit!
No folks, we are not going anywhere, we've been around for a long time now, well almost five years, but in Blog worlds that's like 15 years.
Lastly, I don't think it's a coincidence that I get a warning email just after I post something about our friend Cunt Schilling. I think old Cunty's finally had enough of us, especially with his Senate race coming up, he won't be able to deal with the media coverage we give him. Oh, and you can bet we already filing for press creditials just to be on the safe side when he hits the campaign trail.

They may take our blogspot, but they can never take... OUR FREEDOM!

F-MASSHOLES!

Ode to Fall in New England or Hey Sully, dem leaves is turnin da color of ma's sauce!

The city is quiet. It’s September already, parts of New England are turning color, the nights are getting shorteeerrrraaa, and the MASSHOLE is getting drunkeeerrrraaa!
With the Football season on the horizon, the talk is more about Brady and Pats than about Big Retardi and his bad at bats. Schilling tried to make some noise by talking of a Senate campaign, but he was wearing his ketchup-soaked sock, so he’s just plain insane. The Yankees have the American League East sealed tight, but don’t say that to loud to Sully in Eastie, because he’ll beat if you’re not white. Papel-douche is barking because Wagner wants his chair, and every night he pitches I laugh at his retarded-gay stare. The Boston sports writers are doing an about face when it comes to writing about the Yankees’ future, and last night I think I saw Varitek making out with Ashton Kutcher. No, the city is quiet now, more than years past; I guess they realize the Yankees will always kick their ass.


F-Big Retardi
F-Papel-douche
F-“C” wearing Varitek
F-Tito Francona
F-Southie
F-Belmont
F-The Jimmy Fund
F-Ted Williams’ son’s frozen head
F-Johnny Pesky
F-Lynn and the ballplayer too
F-Senator Schillbag
F-Yawkey Way
F-Super Jew Theo
F-MASSHOLES!