Did we hit a speed bump or was that just the Royals?

Billy
"ERRRRRRRAAAAA Sully, thos Yanks arrra playin good ball, you know?"
Sully
"Comm on, thos bastarrrds ain't got a shot, dis is ouuuurrr yearrr, you know?"
Billy
"ERRRRRRRAAAAA I don't know Sully, A-Rod's hittin, Jeta is doing good, and that darrrkie Riverrrra looks like his old forrrrrm, you know?"
Sully
"Comm on, I hearrra about Jeta, but you know A-Rod will slow down, he's gottta, you know?"
Billy "
ERRRRRRAAAAA so don't I believe yaaa about that spic A-Rod but wit dat jew Steinbreennnaa still runnin tings, de might make a move soon, you know?"
Sully
"Comm on, forget about it, da seasons still arrrrrs, now pass me anotha beerrrr, and watch da kids playin wit dat toasta in da pool, you know?"
Billy
"ERRRRRRAAAA, eitha way you look at it, it may be time ta worrrry, you know?"

The preceeding was a common conversation happening all over MASSHOLELAND...

Don't look now but the Yanks are on the move!

Schilling to Start Live Blogging From Mound

BOSTON - Curt Schilling announced Monday that, upon his eventual return from the disabled list, he will begin liveblogging from the pitcher's mound itself in an effort order to provide the most in-depth look yet into how a player thinks when he's on the field. "38pitches.com will be going live during my next start, providing my up-to-the-minute thoughts on pitch count, how my splitter is working, and descriptions of what the people behind home plate are wearing, hopefully as sooon as July against the Devil Rays," said Schilling who showed up to the press conference with a laptop and a pair of glasses. "Now fans will know what's going through Curt Schilling's head when he's facing young slugger Elijah Dukes with a man on second and two outs in the fifth, not to mention what I think of the alleged threats he made on his wife's life. It's really a shame-well, I don't want to get ahead of myself. I guess you're just going to have to wait! And while you're visiting 38pitches.com, be sure to check out 38studios.com, my video-game production company. And let's find a cure for ALS." When alerted that laptops would most likely not be permitted on the mound, Schilling mentioned the possibility of hiding a Blackberry in the rosin bag.
taken from The Onion