Yes Virginia there is a Santa Clause... He just happens to hate the Red Sux!

I want to start off this post by apologizing to any followers out there looking for more frequent posts. In the new year of 2009 I will guarantee you at least a post a week, you have my word. Second, Merry Christmas to all!
I was out of the country during the Christmas holiday so I just found out about the Yanks signing Tex, but boy what a signing!!
I seem to recall before the deal was done how much Red Sux county was in favor of the proposed signing of Teixeira, I am correct in saying that right? WOW! Well I guess those weeks before hand the media was interviewing a different red sux county, because today you couldn't find a sux fan out there that has one good thing to say about Teixeira, funny huh?
I am not suprised at all, these are the most fair weather fans in the entire world, they never even heard of Mark Teixeira until a few months ago anyway.
As I quote a recent email I received about the Teixeira signing, note how acurate the one line is, "They loved him, they wanted him. We got him and now he is an overrated bum" How true that email is, as always my sources shall remain guarded.
You see for most folks out there Red Sux county's reaction seems strange, how could they say these things about a guy they were so close to getting, someone that would add the spark they most definately needed to that lineup? I just have to say, my friends, the mind of a MASSHOLE is a tricky one, and something I don't have the patience or the time to explain. These Peter the Apostle mother fuckers are drunk half the time anyway so they don't know what they're saying!
I guess if you knew the whole story about Teixeira you would have known that he wasn't going to sign with the sux anyway. They drafted him out of high school and then wanted him to forget about college and play ball instead. He declined thus severing his relationship and feelings for the sux. So really this is not that big of shock to the above average fan. But again, can you find me one above average fan in Boston?

Attention New York Times Crossword Puzzle, I have a new entry!

Paris, Milan, New York, three things that come to mind when thinking of fashion, I have never thought of myself as a fashion expert, but I have heard of those three cities. I have had some critics in the past complaining of my use of the word “gay” in articles, for those of you out there reading today that may be offended then I suggest you avert your eyes.
The Red Sux unveiled new uniforms for the 2009 season yesterday. Like something out of a Versace catwalk they strode through displaying their wears, and let me tell you the word gay doesn’t explain what a spectacle. I need to come up with a new word because gay doesn’t capture the feeling you got when you watched The Rem Dog strutting out in his new wardrobe. Followed by Tito Francona the ex-tobacco spitting now reformed gum chewing manager, which by the way is his new official modeling name, and Jim Rice the monster outfielder from the 70’s and 80’s. I was a little lad when I first saw Jim Rice clobber the ball against the Yankees, this was a fierce man, he actually broke his bat once on a check swing he was so strong. I was at a Yankees game in New York once when I saw him almost kill a fan that grabbed his cap as he strode in from the outfield between innings, he was scary. But to see him now, old, and gay, no not just gay but Uber-Gay or Super Gay, no I have it… EEERRRAAAYYY! Eureka!!!


I happen to be at the show last night and was behind the scenes of this EEERRRAAAYYY event and some things that the people didn’t see were fantastic. Like when Curt Schilling showed up, bloated and spewing how he’s moving to France because that darkie in the White House will start a race war. They tried to squeeze this melon into a uniform but they couldn’t get the fake blood stains correct on his ankle and he was scratched from the show. After The Schill showed up they had a body double of Mark Teixeira dressed in a uniform to show people what he would look like as a Red Sux, but they couldn’t fit his name on the new uniform in time so they just had “SPIC” on the back of his jersey, it was quite comical. Soon after the body double exited our ole buddy Jon Papelbon made an appearance, but he was wearing the shirt as pants and they rushed him to the hospital because they thought he was having a stroke, it was later discovered that he was just practicing some new menacing stares that he would use when getting the signs from the catcher. Let’s see, Theo Epstien the boy wonder GM was there of course, but the Yawkey family wouldn’t let him appear because they didn’t like the new Red Jew uniform he wore complete with yamaka and long locks down to his waist, there was quite a commotion getting him out of there. Finally Johnny Pesky showed up but he was completely naked and just rambling that he thought it was bath time or something like that, he was quickly taken back to the old age farm.
All in all it was exactly what I thought it would be, a super EEERRRAAAYYY event complete with morons and buffoons parading around like the EEERRRAAAYYYS they were, so pretty much like a usual visit to the ole ballpark in the Fens!

I've been away on assignment

Good day folks, the author of this little blog is back, it's been over two months and not a peep, you probably thought I was lynched by some MASSHOLES didn't ya?
No, honestly I've been away covering a story...

Where can you find pleasure
Search the world for treasure
Learn science technology
Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true
On the land or on the sea
Where can you learn to fly
Play in sports and skin dive
Study oceanography
Sign up for the big band
Or sit in the grandstand
Where your team and others meet...




In the navy
Yes you can sail the seven seas
In the navy
Yes you can put your mind to ease
In the navy
Come on now people make a stand

They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit!


Well I'm back folks, so don't you worry, I'll be covering all the hard hitting stories of the offseason in Boston, from Whitey Bulger's plot to shoot Don Mattingly to The Yankees Suck chant at the local Christmas Tree lighting in Copley. I'll be with you the whole way.