Thar She Blows... A Jim Rice sighted off the starboard bow!

Jim Rice, when I was a little kid I was scared of Jim Rice, he was this huge guy that used to hit the crap out of the ball. But now he's an old man that thinks because he's in the HOF he can run his mouth when he wants to. Recently this blowhard was speaking to little leaguers at the little league world series and he was preaching about teamwork and role models. He blasted Manny and Arod, but then in the same breath mentioned Derek Jeter about players playing for a paycheck and not the game or the team. WTF JIM? Clearly he's lost his mind and should be put out to pasture with Johnny Pesky, I mean come on man! And I'm not the only one, more than half the discussion boards in Boston had those Massholes supporting Jeter and blasting Rice for his comments about him. You know things are bad when I'm glad to hear the point of view from a Masshole.
So for now Jim, just keep your trap shut, sign your autographs, go fishing and slowly sleek back under that rock you truly should be inhabiting.

Rumor has it that Jim hit's the bottle from now and again, also he supposedly had a child with Bernie Carbo's wife, plus he said daily novenas that Jerry Remy's cancer would come back, and just recently he went up to Vermont to spit on gay couples as they came out of the church after they were married. I mean this guy is just a bad person. So I encourage you to spread these rumors about Jim, because I'm sure they are almost close to being accurate!

Hey Joe Posnanski... You're a Cunt!

Have you ever heard of this wahoo? I have seen his name whenever I read the baseball page on SI.com, but never really read anything he wrote. Until the other day when he wrote an article about Jeter being "Underrated". Now it's true, I agree with him, for years all people have been saying is that Jeter's getting old, he doesn't have it, his numbers keep slipping, he can't field, yada-yada-yada! But I did a little more reading because like me this Joe Punk-naski has a blog(I've been around longer). I went back and read some of his drivel, all this guy does is bash Derek Jeter! I have yet to read (except for his recent crap) anything positive about Jeter, for a couple of years now this Joe Bitch-naski has been trashing him. But now, Jeter's having a REALLY good season and all of sudden he's Underrated, yeah he's underrated because of you Joseph! That would be like me all of sudden saying how much I love Jon Papelbon(noticed I didn't say Papel-Douche, because I love him now) or how David Ortiz is a stand up guy and Manny Ramirez doesn't smoke the pole or crack. NO, I wouldn't say that, it wouldn't fair to you the reader, and I would seem like a pussy, which is what this Joe Wahoo is.
Now I know it has nothing to do with Boston, this guy is from Cleveland but in a way it does, because this city has the biggest Band-Wagon jumping fans in the world and that is exactly what this Joe guy is... a big PHONY!

I made the prediction last time the Yanks and Sux played, I believe I said the Yanks would sweep, go back and read it. This weekend... SAME THING! YANKS SWEEP and finally put the nail in the coffin!

Hey buddy can you spare a hitter, how about some bullpen help?

Obviously those first 8 games don't mean SHIT!

6 1/2 games BITCHES!

Attention all Bullies! We have found your next target, engage!

Greetings! I am finally back in the states! I can report the story now since it’s all over the news wires, I have been held captive in North Korea for the past few months. I want to thank President Clinton for his efforts on our return home. I was over in Korea doing a report on Kim Jong who is a die hard Red Sux fan. What got me caught and put into prison was that I uncovered a story that Kim Jong is a silent partner in the Red Sux ownership. Not wanting this news to leak out, Larry Lucchino ratted me out to the North Koreans and I was clamped in irons! Unfortunately all my notes were confiscated so I don’t have a full report to give. But I’m back home and let’s get down to business.

I was watching a Sux game the other day, well just the beginning, because the games are so boring I can’t get through an inning of it. I happen to turn it on when they were announcing the starting lineups. On NESN the Sux channel they have these little kids read the starting lineups for teams. Now these kids are probably between 7- 10 years old but already you can see what raging homos they are! The little Freddie Mercury loving kids read the lineup but they do it in the GAYEST way possible. They pretend they are showing respect for the players so they read the line up as this. “Batting first for the Red Sux, Mr. Jacoby Ellsbury, batting second, Mr. Dustin Pedroia, batting third, Mr. David Ortiz, batting fourth, Mr. Mike Lowell, batting fifth, Mr. Kevin Youklis… etc, etc. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!! Putting a Mr. in front of everyone’s name to show how cute we are and how we adore these guys. Oh those poor children!

Someone sent me a shirt recently in the mail, it was a plain white T and the shirt read “Roid Sox”. I loved it! Oh how the hearts of so many members of Red Sux County have been broken, I just get giddy! In 2003 after these players were tested they were told that they tested positive. So for the past 5 or 6 years these players new they tested positive for PED, how bad does Big Retardi look after his rant in the pre-season? I believe the monoker Big Retardi is very fitting, and you laughed at me when I gave him that!

Big series this weekend with the two teams, what will happen? Yanks haven’t beaten them all year, Sux feeling pretty confident, huh? I’m not worried, Yanks sweep!

Mariano Rivera saved his 100th game last night in 104 chances, that’s just crazy!

F-Big Retardi
F-Kevin “The Chin” Youklis
F-Dusting “Mr. Masshole” Pedroia
F-The Jimmy Fund
F-Jerry Remy’s Kid (Oh, yeah he was busted for steroids while he worked in the Sux clubhouse!!!)
F-Southie
F-Eastie
F-Brookline
F-Belmont
F-Worcester
F-Lenox
F-Billerica