A Yankees Fan living in Boston

Oh what a MASSHOLE!

2009-06-16T14:54:00.001-04:00

I am trying to pull myself away from the boob tube for a few minutes and jot down some thoughts concerning what else, douche bags! First, with the recent election in Iran, I was having a hard time telling the difference between Iran and downtown LA…Bada bing, thank you, I’ll be here all week, don’t forget to tip your waitresses! Of course just as I’m reading some hilarious Twitter reports from people in Tehran I see an article that was just updated stating that Kevin Youkilis just went ahead of Mark Texieria in the All Star voting, by a whopping 1100 and change!! Are you kidding me? Who is the cunt that wrote that article? The span of 1100 votes in All Star voting lasts almost as long as it takes Jonathan Papel-douche to name his favorite Jerry Spinger show… Which we all know he loves to ramble off… “I’m 50 and I slept with an 18 year old amputee with tourettes syndrome”. By the time you’re done reading this article I’m sure the vote will be different.
As you know I don’t like to stray off topic, which I usually never do, but I want to mention Artie Lange’s appearance on the Joe Buck show on HBO last night. Maybe I’m not straying off topic by much since Mr. Lange is huge Yankees fan. What is Joe Buck doing hosting a show on HBO? And what are Paul Rudd and Jason Sudekis(sp) doing on there as his first guests? Ok, the show did get a lot of press just as it started because he interviewed Brett Favre, but then ESPN stopped watching. But talk about a bore-fest! Artie is crude, rude and speaks his mind and doesn’t care about offending anyone. He is just what that show needed, a good kick in the ass. All those Politically Correct people out there, and I’m sure that’s my core demographic, should take a chill for a second. If you’re like me you felt so bad for David Letterman last night when he made that apology to Governor Palin, again PC. On CNN the ticker that goes by underneath the screen said, “Governor Palin accepts Letterman’s apology but admits changes should be made”. WHAT CHANGES! We need people like Lange and Letterman and FTHEREDSOX… to toot our horn!
Speaking of Douche Bags, the other day I was ranting about The Douche or to some of you The Eck for Dennis Eckersley the ex-pitcher and now announcer for the Sux. He is our new champion now that Cunt Schilling is old news and Big Retardi is washed up, but I want to mention something about Dustin Pedroia, the second baseman for the Sux. How did he win the MVP last year? Ok, he’s got talent but he’s no MVP. I was watching the game the other day and watching him closely, well not that close, but I was in the South End at the time (Bostonians know what I mean). Pedroia is the proto-typical MASSHOLE, and I don’t even know if he’s from New England, but his look embodies what every male MASSHOLE goes for in a look. He has that gay goatee, or part of one on his face, you can tell he’s got a little Napoleon complex due to his size and the jewelry he wears while playing. You see every Douche Bag MASSHOLE male between the ages of 17 and 42 wear gay douche bag jewelry around their neck because they think it’s cool or hip. It usually consists of some type of hemp or seashell necklace that’s tight around your neck, most of the time they wear two of them. I see why he’s a fan favorite, because he is the face of Red Sux County, not because he’s a good ballplayer, but because he is the embodiment of MASSHOLE-NESS across the land.
So to sum up, TWITTER has some funny things being posted by Iranians, Lange and Letterman are funny people and Dustin Pedroia is a true MASSHOLE, thank you.

Softball, rain and The Douche!

2009-06-09T21:35:00.005-04:00

The Yankees/Red Sux series is underway and I have to say without a doubt that Dennis Eckersley is a total douchebag. I’ll be honest I always thought he was ever since his days with Oakland with that gay hair and mustache, but after listening to him do games he really is a douche. Our ole buddy The Rem Dog is out, he’s be battling cancer for a bit so we wish him the best(you see, I have a heart). In his place is Eckersley, the Eck or The Douche as he is now called. I don’t want to talk about him anymore; he’s just a total douche!
Burnett just didn’t have it tonight, he sucked, and Josh Beckshitt was really good. The weather doesn’t help either; Ftheredsox had their first softball game of the year and let me tell you, it was no fun playing out there. (We lost 14-0 by the way).
I want to veer off the path a bit and mention the Baseball Draft. WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE BASEBALL DRAFT! They are pushing this thing so hard, it’s laughable. It’s not like football or basketball where you will see those guys the following year; in Baseball you won’t see this guy for at least a year and usually more. In 1990, I think it was the Yanks signed Brien Taylor this young kid who you thought was the second coming of Cy Young. They paid him a shit load of cash and the bastard didn’t even play! He ended up getting in a bar fight or something and ruined his career, so I don’t really pay attention to the draft at all since then. It does show you how great Baseball is though, how it the hardest sport to play, and I love that about it.
I need to mention Big Retardi though, he hit a homerun, though to be honest my Ftheredsox softball team could have hit Burnett tonight and again, we lost 14-0 tonight. Now the Big Retard is hitting above .200 I think, maybe .203 with a wopping 2 homeruns, HAHAHAHAHA!

F-Jackie
F-Beckshitt
F-The Douche
F-Big Retardi
F-Burnett
F-Tito
F-Johnny Pesky
F-Eastie
F-Southie
F-Massholes

Big Retardi... the new Satchel Paige!

2009-06-07T23:19:00.004-04:00

Hopefully this will be my last post concerning the bashing of Big Retardi... but I doubt it! Apparently there is a scout out there that reportly said that Big Retardi is probably older than he says he is. It's like Satchel Paige who pitched until he was like 48 or 54 or 59, no one never really new.
Here's the story snip-it from SI.com.

8:26 AM ET 06.07
The theories on David Ortiz's descent are plentiful. They range from physical (he never recovered from wrist and knee injuries), to strategic (he misses Manny Ramirez batting behind him), to mental (he's got no confidence), to visual (he said he plans to get his eyes checked), to pure speculation (he's older than his stated age of 33 or he's no longer using steroids). "The chances of his birth certificate being accurate are zero," the scout said. "That's both birth certificates. Remember, he was David Arias [when he played in the minor leagues for] Seattle." Whatever the reasons, the results have left Ortiz and the Sox on a quest for a solution. Manager Terry Francona and hitting coach Dave Magadan have searched for answers in the batting cage. The early prognosis was Ortiz was not getting his hands back into a hitting position quickly enough. When that fix didn't work, Francona gave him some days off to relax. When that failed, Francona dropped Ortiz in the batting order from No. 3 to No. 6.

Like I've said before, whatever the case is... he's done!

Hey Four Eyes...

2009-06-05T10:50:00.002-04:00

I wasn’t going to comment, I figured the guy’s had enough right? I am talking of course about Big Retardi, his woes at the plate are just awful. Like I said its old news by now, he’s done, fork! But I was reading an article in ESPN about Big Retardi and I had to mention something about one of the comments a person left at the bottom of the article:

• CHillout1016 says:
June 5, 2009, 9:33 AM ET
As a Sox Fan it pains me to see Ortiz go through this. I personally just think his bat slowed down. It happens! It's going to happen to every player at some point. It's to bad it happened to him so early. I would have liked to see another 2 good years out of him. But really Mr. Ortiz, (oh the pain to say this) it just may be the time to go. However, for as long as you stay, I will cheer you on just like any other sox fan at any at bat you take. Even if it means you strike out, fly out or ground it with 2 men on and 2 outs :(

Sorry folks, I think I pasted the wrong comment, this comment looks like it’s straight out of “Cock and Balls Weekly”, I mean, Hello Frisco!
What? You mean this is the actual comment from ESPN, WOW! Well, now do you agree with me? Red Sux fans are gayer than a French Horn!I love in the article where he calls him Mr. Ortiz, come on, Mr. Ortiz, GAY! The second to last sentence is probably the best, “However, for as long as you stay, I will cheer you on just like any other sox fan at any at bat you take”. GAY! You know what I think? I think that Sux fans would feel better about themselves if they booed a bit. You see folks, the Red Sux players take you for granted, they know whatever they do you will always have their back. They see Sux fans as the ugly chick with the ok body that will put out at any time of night. Sux fans are the ultimate “Booty Call” for Pedroia, Varitek, Bay, Drew. They know they can suck it up like nobody’s business and you’ll always love them, pathetic.
Here’s my solution… START BOOING THE MOTHER FUCKER! That’s right, Big Retardi can’t hit anymore, BOO HIM, he laughs too hard at a joke, BOO HIM, he talks to much to reporters, BOO HIM. Maybe then he’ll see that he better get back on the ball and start working harder.

The buzz up here is that Big Retardi is going to the eye doctor because they’ve pretty much exhausted every reason why he sucks this year. I have a few questions to ask if I may… When the eye doctor asks Big Retardi to read the letters off the chart, can he do that? Also, how many times do you think it will take Big Retardi to get his chin just right on that machine that you look through? I mean the guys hitting .178, I’m sure he’s going to be slipping off that thing left and right. A couple of years ago I would say that the machine to test your eyes would be too small to hold the huge head of Big Retardi, but now since he’s off the Juice, or he’s got Swine Flu or the Hivvy, it shouldn’t be a problem right? I myself have never worn glasses in my life, my whole family did, but I was fortunate, so I know what Big Retardi is going through. The taunts he’ll endour from the other ballplayers will probably be awful. Ballplayers can be so cruel, can’t they! I was always petrified if I got glasses what people would call me, you see it was the 80’s and making fun of people with glasses was common. So the other day I conducted a test, I walked around for a day with glasses on, and let me tell you, the insults were worse than I could imagine. I lasted about two hours with the glasses before they were actually torn off my face and I was punched several times. My hat that I was wearing and my shirt were torn off, and it sucks because I just bought that Jeter jersey and a new fitted Yankees cap… That’s the last time I wear glasses at Fenway

You hate us so much don't you? You MASSHOLE!

2009-06-01T22:44:00.003-04:00

Another reason MASSHOLES hate the Yankees...

18 Games without an error, breaking the 2006 Red Sux's record!

Since they obsess over it in April we'll talk about it a bit!

2009-05-30T12:09:00.001-04:00

MLB Standings, Pro Baseball Standings, Major League Baseball Standings and Team Records - ESPN

Manny Ramirez To David Ortiz: Road Trip

2009-05-28T19:18:00.001-04:00

I love the Onion...

SOMEWHERE ALONG I-65—Best buddies Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz, both of whom find themselves at professional crossroads and both desperately wanting to rekindle their friendship, decided on Sunday that a soul-searching road trip was the key to resolving their personal problems.

"I called David and I said, 'David! Hey, David! It's Manny. Road trip, man! Let's do this!' And he said, 'Okay,' and now he is with me in the car here," Ramirez told reporters in a cell phone interview while driving on the interstate. "Papi isn't hitting so good, and I'm not even playing, and we miss each other and love each other, and because we play on different baseball teams now, I play on the Los Angeles Dodgers, and he plays for the Boston Red Sox, I think, and we don't get to spend quality time with each other like we did when we played on the same team, you know?"

"Uh-oh, it says Corvette Museum next right. I got to go, man," Ramirez added. "Hey, Papi, do we have any more Slim Jims?"

According to sources, Ramirez pulled up to Ortiz's Weston, MA home last Sunday, a selection of Tom Petty hits blaring from the stereo of his faded red 1966 Ford Galaxie 500 convertible. After embracing each other, a visibly somber Ortiz told Ramirez, "I don't know what's going on with me, man. I'm not hitting the baseball." Ortiz then threw his battered duffel bag in the car's backseat and asked Ramirez where they were headed.

Ramirez responded, "Just get in."

Several seconds after pulling out of Ortiz's driveway, the car's rear bumper fell off and the overstuffed trunk sprung open, sending a food-laden cooler, several bags, and a shoe box marked "fireworks" out onto the road.

According to eyewitness accounts, the former teammates have been crisscrossing the country with no apparent final destination. They have taken pictures of each another in front of the world's biggest hockey stick in Eveleth, MN; the world's tallest thermometer in Baker, CA; the giant fiberglass muskellunge at the Freshwater Fishing Hall of Fame in Hayward, WI; and while dressed in Lazer Tag uniforms at the Fun Fest Entertainment Center in Harmarville, PA.

While both Ortiz and Ramirez have spent the majority of their trip laughing and reminiscing about when they were the most feared hitting tandem in baseball, their journey has not been without its serious moments. Ortiz reportedly made Ramirez spit out human growth hormone pills in a Motel 6 bathroom in Columbia, MS, and then forced him to flush the rest of his steroid-filled syringes down the toilet.

Ramirez and Ortiz also got into a shouting match in Abilene, TX, when in an attempt to reinvigorate Ortiz's passion for baseball, Ramirez tried to make his best friend watch a Little League ball game.

"You said there would be no baseball," said Ortiz, refusing to leave the car. "I hate baseball. I can't hit the baseball. You know that. If you care so much about me and baseball, why you leave me? Why you leave me by myself in Boston, Manny? Why you do that? Why you act so bad? Boston's a good place."

"You need to deal with that, man. You need to come to terms," Ramirez said. "I never going back to Boston. But, man, look at these kids. This is baseball, man. Little kids having fun and not injecting themselves with steroids and women pills and just stepping up there and hitting the ball. You gotta face it, man. We gotta face it together."

"Everybody's left me, you know?" Ortiz responded, tears streaming down his face. "You left me, Pedro left me. The only one who doesn't leave is Jason [Varitek], and he don't talk to me. He don't talk to anyone."

Witnesses at the scene said that, as the two sluggers cried in each other's arms, Ramirez and Ortiz's attention focused on the Little League diamond, where a player had just hit a walk-off home run. Ramirez whispered to Ortiz, "That is like you in the playoffs, man, but bigger. Remember that? You just go up there and hit the ball. You don't need to think. You're Big Papi. You go up there and be Big Papi."

Ramirez and Ortiz were subsequently sighted exiting a Terre Haute, IN 7-Eleven store wearing Indianapolis 500 baseball caps and brand new neon-orange sunglasses.

"The bigger one kept asking if he should get the hat, and the other one said he would buy one if [Ortiz] did," 7-Eleven cashier Kip Petrun told reporters. "They must have tried on sunglasses for 30 minutes."

"Before they left the parking lot they argued over whose turn it was to pick the music," Petrun added. "I'm pretty sure they settled on that song 'Life Is A Highway,' because they both started singing it at the top of their lungs. I think they said they were going to Nebraska to pick up their friend Pedro something."

The trip reportedly culminated with Ramirez taking Ortiz to a batting cage in St. George, UT. Though Ortiz missed the first several balls, Ramirez told Ortiz that he knew he could do it, and that even if they were no longer teammates, they would always be best friends. Ortiz then began hitting ball after ball, the last five of which hit the "home run" net.

"I can do it. I can hit the baseball again!" Ortiz yelled as he and Manny pointed at each other. "And you can hit the baseball without taking steroids, Manny. I know you can. Hopefully I can, too."

During a tender moment at the Grand Canyon later that night, tourists said that while seated on the hood of their car, Ortiz placed a blanket around a shivering Ramirez and told him, "You're my best friend, man. You're my best friend."

The car's hood then caved in, sending both players into a fit of hysterical laughter

The Sun Shines on Retard's ass every once in a while

2009-05-21T11:29:00.002-04:00

To say our legal system is unfair is to call Don Mattingly a mediocre hitter. Sorry for the absence folks, but Ftheredsox has been fighting a legal battle for sometime with Sports Illustrated writer Selena Roberts and we finally won. She was trying to publish a scandalous essay in SI about us and we just had to prove her wrong, so we’re back!
First things first, Big Re-Tardi hit his first homerun last night… HE'S BACK! WE’RE SAVED! Was the cheer from those suburban sexuals at Fenway last night. Sorry folks, but he ain’t back. You know when you’re cooking a turkey and the outsides get cooked faster and it takes more time for the middle inside to get done? Well that’s Big Re-Tardi, but in his case the timer is almost up and that little pin in the bird is about to pop up!
Secondly, the NY Metropolitans are in town this weekend for a series during inter-league play. I want to stress this to every New Englander out there… The Mets and their fans are nothing like the Yankees, you can’t even compare us, these two teams are totally different. So to say, “Oh the New Yorkers are in town this weekend” is just horseshit! The Mets play in Queens, their fans are gay, and their players are even gay-er! I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again to some of our new readers out there. In 1986 I rooted for the Red Sux in the World Series, that’s right folks, I cursed Buckner, I cheered Dave Henderson, and adored Bob Stanley… well maybe not adored. Yes, I hate the Red Sox more than Hitler, but I guess I hate the Mets more than… Hitler, Himmler, Goebbles and Eva Braun together! If you’re a Yankees fan you hate the Mets and their gay fans, it’s a simple fact of life. So please, even though every news station in the Boston area will be covering this series closely, don’t put the Yankees in the same sentence when mentioning the Mets.

F-Jackie
F-Santana
F-Beltran
F-Wright
F-Reyes
F-Big Re-Tardi
F-Papel-douche
F-Varitek
F-Bay
F-Drew
F-Pedroia
F-Yawkey Way
F-Eastie
F-Chelsea
F-Dorchester
F-Southie
F-Pesky
F-Ted Williams’ dead Kid

He just starting taking Steriods now????

2009-05-07T12:47:00.003-04:00

Dear Manny Ramirez;

Thank You

Sincerely,
Alex Rodriguez

I don’t need to go into this too much, but did he just start using when he went to Los Angeles? I know Manny is half-retarded, but did he just take up shooting roids and not do anything when he was in Boston? I guess he is stupid because as you can see Big Papi stopped using them, but Manny thought he could get away with it. Oh Manny, we hardly knew …. Wait a minute, we knew this the whole fucking time, he’s RETARDED!!!!

F- Southie
F-Eastie
F-Brookline
F-Ted Williams’ frozen head
F-Johnny Pesky
F-Dana Farber
F-Jerry Remy (yeah I said it)
F-Tito Francona
F-Big Retardi
F-Papel-Douche
F-Super Jew Theo
F-Yaz
F-Fisk
F-Rice
F-Dennis Eckersley what a dick
F-Tek
F-Yawkey Way

These Blue-Bloods party like it's 1892...

2009-04-25T19:26:00.003-04:00

I can't take this for another 16 or 17 games, however many we play against each other! I hate FOX, the Yanks never do well on FOX and like everyone else they hate the Yanks, which I've come to accept. What's funny is that David Ortiz has become a medicore player before our eyes and the Sux fans can't accept that. I am just waiting for the first person to boo him, it will probably make every Boston news station! I can see them interviewing the guy that does it, he'll probably be some proto-typical MASSHOLE that is so wasted and it will turn out he thought Youkilis was up and he was chanting "YUK". But come on already, it's so early in the season to be this crazy about this series. Even the blue-bloods where I live in Beacon Hill are into the action. Though try having a conversation about the game with them is like explaining the importance of safe sex to some drunk Irish MASSHOLE!
In case you haven't noticed I'm updating during a game, I never do that but the weather is so nice I decided not to leave my apartment today and instead am watching without sound from a darkened apartment wearing a NY hat turned backwards in case someone is looking in.
Cano just homered, good for me, he's on my fantasy team... of course!

Sure we'll shill for the man from time to time....

2009-04-24T09:55:00.003-04:00

Are mail has been piling up since the move and we just read this from one of our
F-Reporters, you should try to get down to Borders and see the Ole Bern Baby Bern!

Bernie Williams

Album: Moving Forward

Date: Friday, April 24, 2009

Time: 12:30 PM

Location: Borders – Downtown Crossing (10-24 School St., Boston, MA); 617-557-7188

Bernie Williams has wowed audiences both as a NY Yankees star and critically acclaimed jazz guitarist / songwriter. Here is your chance to meet one-on-one with the famed entertainer as he celebrates the release of his latest album ‘Moving Forward’. Due to his limited time with us, no memorabilia will be allowed in line and a purchase of the album at Borders must be made prior to entering the line. See store for details

So long Big Papi... Hello Big Retardi

2009-04-23T15:37:00.003-04:00

That’s it; I have finally had enough of David Ortiz. I used to be a fan of his, but since Manny left he feels he has to be the new sound-bite for the club, unfortunately it’s turned into a fucking book on tape!
HE DOESN”T SHUT UP!
And what he says, I mean come on man. He get’s the props from the media because they look at him like the gentle giant, fun loving to everyone; he’s basically an ambassador of the game.
I’m sorry but its Saigon, 1968, time to get to the fucking chopper!

Have you heard his latest rant?
Here are some nuggets; On Joba Chamberlain throwing at Kevin Youkilis:
“None of that, man- just play the game the way it’s supposed to be, and that’s about it. This is a guy, as good as he is, the next step for him will be to earn respect from everybody in the league. He’s not a bad guy, but when things like that happen, people get the wrong idea”.

Play the way it’s supposed to be played Oritz said, like sticking Human Growth Hormones in your ass daily? Come on Big Retardi, you’re talking crazy now. And there he goes with that “respect” thing again, what’s the big deal about respect? And to say that to an opposing pitcher before a game, I am in shock that a Major League Ballplayer would say something like, really.
If I was Joba, I would fucking plunk the first batter I see on Friday night, what do you think about that Big Retardi? Can you believe that, an opposing batter dictating something like that to a pitcher?
Hey Big Retardi, keep talking, because you can’t hit for shit anymore!
Outside of our offices at Ftheredsox we can look out at Fenway and see all the preparations going into the series coming up. I mean the bums are starting to congregate, the toothless scalpers are marking their territories and the crew from Eastie is on their fifth sixth pack already. It’s going to be a good weekend, the weather is supposed to be in the 70’s and 80’s just perfect baseball weather. I think I may wear my Yankees hat this weekend… in the confines of my apartment with the lights out and the shades drawn bitches!

Our F-Reporters are hot on the scene as always!

2009-04-20T11:53:00.007-04:00

As always we love the support from our loyal readers out there, our F-Reporters as they are called and we were recently sent this link to a video that I know you would love. Apparently the video was shot in the off season as some of the Red Sux players ventured down to Australia for some R&R. You can take the ballplayer out of Boston, but you can't take the dance step out of the ballplayer.

Clink this Link for the Site

Say it Loud, I'm Gay and I'm Proud!

2009-04-18T17:00:00.003-04:00

Hello everyone I’m back after sometime off. You see we were moving our offices of Ftheredsox and it took a bit longer than expected. But I’m back now, more updates to come on a regular basis. My first update to give would be this… I am coming out of the closet, I am GAY!

You see, I attended the Red Sux/Orioles game last night at Fenway and the whole experience turned me gay. That’s right; I walked into Fenway a strong heterosexual male and ended up leaving a confused homosexual twink. Where do I begin? First you’re asking why would I attend a Sox game, well the tickets were free! We had what I thought were great seats to begin with, right down the first baseline, near the tarp, but when we sat down I was facing the green monster the whole time. My neck is killing me because I had to strain the entire game to watch the action. Why they faced the seats away from the action is mind boggling, you would think in 100 years or so they could have fixed that error! The game was actually a good baseball game, a lot of runs, good excitement and for a baseball fan it had it all. The Sux came back from a 7-0 deficit to win the game. I thought it was fitting since I often write about it that Pumpsie Green threw out the first pitch of the game. Do you know who Pumpsie Green is? He was the first black player for the Red Sux… IN 1957! That’s right, the last team to integrate, but I won’t go into that!
I wish that all my readers could have attended the game with me, because you would have thought that you were reading this little blog the entire time while you were watching the game. The stands were packed with the usual “suburban sexuals” that couldn’t tell you one thing about the players on the field, the place was a mess and it just looked old! And Big Papi, he looks like he is sick, he’s thin and can’t hit for shit, he struck out embarrassingly three times last night! I guess the absence of Human Growth Hormones really takes a toll on a guy, because it’s evident on him!
One thing I noticed that I thought was funny was the “luxury seats” down the line in front of us. You see games today at most ballparks and the seats near the field that have waiter service are usually bigger seats, sometimes cushioned, basically conveying an air of sophistication and money. Not at Fenway! The seat that had the waiter service in front of us were actual metal folding chairs, I’m not lying here! I saw an usher talking to the fans sitting there at first and then I saw them bringing food, I was amazed that they were actual luxury seats! It was HILARIOUS! I tried to get pictures of some of the fans sitting next to us but they were right out of a methadone clinic and they were eyeing my camera so I didn’t snap any pictures of them.
I guess the exact time that I realized I was gay was when the 9th inning arrived and Papel-Douche came out. They blast the song from the movie “The Departed” and he stands there for a second, opens the door, and bumps fists with the rotund police officer as he jogs by. The fans recognize the tall retard so they get up and cheer and he scampers by towards the mound with an air of retard-ness and douch-bag all in one, it was actually comical, but again the methadone patients were near by so I didn’t bust out laughing. He walks around the mound and picks up the ball and then begins his warm-ups in the gayest way possible, you can see him working on his stare and trying to figure out how to hold his gaze while throwing a pitch at the same time, he has trouble at both. I’m sorry he conveys no confidence what so ever, none of that. You can tell right away that he is trying so hard to be scary, he just can’t pull it off, but to these yokels he’s the greatest thing on earth!
So I left the game afterwards and was really temped to hit the local bar around the corner “The RamRod” but somehow I turned away and walked back home a defeated, proud gay man!

Red Sux taking advice from George Costanza?

2009-04-03T10:07:00.008-04:00

Did I get you with that April Fools joke??

Recently Larry Lucchino the Red Sux's President was quoted saying,"We are told by our engineers and architects that we will be able to play baseball in Fenway Park for the next 40 to 50 years."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

Why would you want to do that?? I know I've gone on and on about Fenway before but this just baffles me. The place is old! It was built for a guy that's 5'5" with a waistline of a 12 year old girl! The seats are falling apart, the bathrooms smell like they've captured a fart that was laid in 1955, not to mention the paint that falls all over the place. "Yes I'd like a dog and beer, but hold the paint chips, Sully!!"

Come on folks, it's the 21st century, it's time to move. Yes, the history and I love it as much as the next guy but let's be realistic. All the added seats each year just don't do it justice, and to hear a quote like the one above just makes me re-iterate my stance on the MASSHOLE mentality... they are morons!

What do you think? Do you want to keep this?

Or do you want to have this?

The Truth shall Set Me Free...

2009-04-01T14:43:00.005-04:00

I need to start off this article with an apology. I wanted to get this to you sooner, but ran out of time. And I desperately wanted to get this to you before the season started so I’m doing it today. My real name is David Sarken and I’m from North Platte Nebraska, it’s sort of in the middle of Nebraska, not far from the Sand Hills. I am a single parent of a 19 year old son that attends Nebraska State, where I teach physics part time. This is a picture of my farm where I write this blog.

I am a devoted Yankees fan though I have never set foot in Boston; actually the furthest I’ve been east is Lincoln, Nebraska. I consider myself an American, I regularly vote Republican, I belong to a golf course that doesn’t allow black people and I have an extensive gun collection. Here is a picture of my son Kieren, he's a freshman in college and why I live.

I know you’re asking yourself then why do you write about the things you write about, how you can have a totally alter ego? About five years ago I had a mental breakdown; I went totally bonkers after I lost my job at the local fertilizer plant. I mean so nuts that I was on the verge of going back there with some guns, but somehow I realized that I needed help so I found a good psychiatrist. After many hours of session she told me I needed a break from myself that I was too wound up in living in Nebraska, raising a child and worrying about work, I need to take a vacation from myself, from me she said. So one day I sat down at the computer and thought. Just then the Simpsons were on and it was the St. Patrick’s Day episode where Bart get’s drunk and Homer becomes the Beer Baron. But at one point in the show a bunch of citizens over-run Kent Brockman’s news tower where he’s reporting and start a fight. One of the people in there was wearing a Red Sox jersey and had what I learned was a New England accent. I wasn’t very familiar with the way New Englanders talk but the more I read up on it, the more I found it fascinating. I thought what would be better than to write about a Yankees fan and his problems with Red Sox fans. But there were tons of sites about that, so I decided that maybe this Yankees fan should live in Nebraska…but that didn’t turn out so well. So I decided to make my character live in Boston, right in the city. I did so much research on the city, maps, neighborhoods, the people, the history; you name it, I new about it. And to this day I’m still learning, and watching. I watch all local Boston news programs on my computer daily, and read the Globe daily as well.
So for almost the past five years I’ve been doing this, pretending that I’m from Boston. Like I said before I am a Yankees fan, but I also love half the players on the Sox, and wouldn’t you know it, Jonathan Papelbon is my favorite! It get’s harder and harder to write about how I hate him and the Sox, but it’s been my medicine for these years. That’s why I’m telling you this today, just as of yesterday I completed my last session with my psychiatrist, I am no longer under a doctor’s care. So I felt that I must end this, I used this site to get away, but I no longer want to get away. I’ve found myself and who I really am, and what I really want to do with myself and where I want to go. I look forward to that journey; unfortunately I can’t take you with me. I hope you understand why I did this and please don’t hold it against me; I truly never intended to hurt anyone. I thank you for reading and laughing along with me. God Bless you.

Last post about that Cunt Schilling

2009-03-31T17:13:00.001-04:00

Gotta love the Onion

E Plubis my Assis

2009-03-26T15:08:00.003-04:00

Do you know what the “The Argo” is? How about the “Liber Actorum”? What about the phrase “Sumus Primi? Any ideas? I’ll give you a hint, people that exit there are usually pretty smart! I’m talking of course about the Boston Latin School. Established in 1635 it’s the oldest existing school in the United States. Harvard which was established in 1636 is rumored to be built because Boston Latin pupils needed somewhere to go after graduation. The “Argo” is their school newspaper, “Liber Actorum” is the school yearbook and the phrase, “Sumus Primi” means we are first. It has produced four Harvard Presidents, four Governors of Massachusetts and five signers of the Declaration of Independence. Benjamin Franklin thought the curriculum too hard and dropped out! To this day its curriculum follows that of the 18th century Latin-school movement, which holds the classics to be that basis of an educated mind. In 2007 the school was named one of the top twenty high-schools in the United States by U.S. News & World Report.
Then can I ask you what the hell this is??

Boston Latin officials seek to quash 'vampire' rumors
March 26, 2009 09:55 AM
By Martin Finucane, Globe Staff
A school administrator wants to set the record straight: There are no vampires at Boston Latin.

The headmaster of the prestigious exam school took the unusual step today of sending a notice to faculty, students, and parents saying that "rumors involving 'vampires'" had begun spreading through the building Wednesday, causing disruption and anxiety for a number of students.
Lynne Mooney Teta asked everyone's help in calming the school community down.
"I seek your cooperation in redirecting your energy toward the learning objectives of the day. Please do not sensationalize or discuss these rumors," she said.
She also said she was concerned that some students' safety might be jeopardized because of the rumors, and asked students to report if any student is being harassed.
"At no time was anyone's safety in jeopardy," she said.
The notice, which was addressed to faculty and students and forwarded to parents, did not say exactly what the rumors were. Teta's office referred questions to a Boston schools spokeswoman, who didn't immediately have a comment.
"Seriously?" said Melissa Duggan.
Officer Eddy Chrispin, a Boston Police spokesman, said police went to the school Wednesday after hearing that some students were spreading rumors there were vampires in the school.
"I'm not sure whether [the supposed vampires] were among the student body or whether they were inhabiting the old corners and crevices of the building," he said.
"We did go over there and speak to some of the students and quelled the rumors that were going and kind of told them the effect those rumors could have on the rest of the student population," he said.
Teen interest in vampires has surged in recent months with the release of "Twilight,'' the first movie from a popular Stephanie Meyer book series. Last weekend, "Twilight'' sleepover parties were held in many U.S. cities coinciding with the DVD release of the movie, starring teen heartthrob Robert Pattinson.
The prestigious Boston public school was founded in 1635, and its students have included Ben Franklin, Sam Adams, John Hancock, Louis Farrakhan, Sumner Redstone, and Nat Hentoff.

I had to post this even though it has nothing to do with sports, just the absurdity of it is overwhelming. The school is open to only kids that live in the city, but that means the blue-bloods of Beacon Hill not the MASSHOLES of Southie! Though I could see it now, some kid, probably named O'Doyle or Callahan telling his buddy Patrick how he just bought these fake vampire teeth.

O'Doyle/Callahan
"Hey Pa-trick, looook at deees wicked funny teeth errraa swiped from the dot head at 7/11"
Patick
"OOOOHHH dude, yous gots to wear dem to school tomorra, scare da broads from Beacon Hill, it'll be a wicked pissa"
O'Doyle/Callahan
"I totally am bra, yous wait and see, we maybe get a day offffff, now come on, let's go smack dat darkie who dressed like the wolfman today"

This is what every news station is covering in Boston as I type, MASSHOLES!!!!

Tonight's Yankees/Red Sux game....

2009-03-24T20:39:00.001-04:00

The Yankees and Red Sux played an exhibition game today down in Florida and you would have thought it was the regular season the way Sux fans were carrying on. It didn’t turn out the way the Yankees had hoped, do to some rookie players on the Red Sux squad trying to make the team this season.
It started in the third inning when A.J. Burnett was pitching to 6 foot 5, 300lb. Meat –Sticker Stingman, a recent call up by the Sux who they really think may be their next phenom. Burnett brushed the ball by Stingman’s shoulder and that turned him loose. Stingman charged the mound as Posada jumped on his back to tackle him, but ended up looking like Roy Rogers riding Trigger. Stingman proceeded to pummel Burnett’s arm, and only his arm until it completely broke free from his shoulder. Out of the dugout 7 foot tall Iron-Tooth McClaven darted towards first base and tackled Mark Teixeira from behind and quickly snapped his vertebra in two, as Robinson Cano tried to pull McClaven off of Teixeira he was gauged in the eyes and both his eyes fell out of his head. As if the scene wasn’t horrible already out of the bullpen came Shoehorn Cafferty and grabbed Hideki Matsui and Nick Swisher bashing their heads together like the Three Stooges, but this time both of their head shattered in centerfield.
John Sterling the voice of the Yankees was astonished at what he was seeing and was calling the entire thing as it happened, that’s when Spoon-Whipper Smith threw a cleat at Sterling but luckily he ducked… Susan Waldman wasn’t so lucky; she took the spike to the back of her head killing her instantly. The carnage didn’t stop until Federal Marshals were called in and stopped the bloodshed. The final toll counted seven Yankees dead and three disabled for life. After the game Theo Epstein was speaking to reporters about his new call ups to the team. “Well we really like what we see in Spoon-Whipper and Meat-Sticker but after this it could be hard for them to finish the season since they may be doing life in prison”.
Jon Kruk from ESPN noted on-air that he thinks that maybe the Red Sux were somehow trying to cripple the Yankees squad for the season so the Sux could take the American League East without problems. When reached for comment Larry Lucchino quickly dispelled Kruk’s theory. “We had some really good reports on Iron-Tooth McClaven when he was playing for the California Penal system, I mean the California North League. It’s just unfortunate that the first time we bring these guys up they kill half the Yankees, oh, well, too bad. Hey George good luck on the season”!

In this economy... Are you sure Fat Mouth?

2009-03-23T16:41:00.003-04:00

I’m back! I want to apologize first as I didn’t notify any of you that I was going on vacation. After the pneumonia put me out for a while I needed more time to recuperate so we closed shop for a few weeks and took some time off. We figured it would be better to take time now before the season starts than during the summer (though I can’t guarantee there will be a week or two during the summer I’ll be out!)

What a day to come back to work to! The office of Ftheredsox is buzzing with excitement with the latest news. I would like to say I’m surprised but then I would be lying right? I mean I predicted this thing months ago, I new he wasn’t coming back, I new he was done. I am of course referring to Blabber Mouth Curt Schilling announcing his retirement today. In one cliché after the next The McDonalds’ Filet O’Fish Mouth Schilling thanked God of course, and his family. I have to get after my research department; I never knew that all of his kid’s names started with the letter “G”, Gehrig, Gabriella, Grant and Garrison, the next child will be Gay!. If you know why he uses the letter “G” for his kids please let me know and send your resume while you’re at it, since my research department is for shit!
I love how Born Again Boy planted his seed for Cooperstown already; did you catch his subtle hint? “That there are men with plaques in Cooperstown who never experienced one, and I was able to be on three teams over seven years…” When talking about winning a World Series. Yeah we get it Curt, you want to be in the HOF, ok. He actually has an ok shot for getting in when you look at the stats. I visited baseballreference.com and you can see who he compares to, some Hall of Famers in that bunch. Look, for all my bashing and stomping that I’ve put on Gaylord Schilling he wasn’t that bad of pitcher, I mean 3000 K’s is a lot!
Let’s get back to the retirement shall we…
I think I have discovered Curt’s new venture after baseball. He’s getting into Football; I mean why else would someone make an obscure reference to Don Meredith in 2009?? And the Refrigerator Perry comment? I couldn’t read it entirely; I was too busy doing the Super bowl Shuffle!! No, he won’t be heading to the NFL, too many blacks for Curt!
No, what Curt does next will be a mystery, for about a week, that should be enough time for him to say his official goodbyes, and see everyone he needs to see and what have you. But then the curtain is drawn, I mean before he was sort of still in the game, but now he is officially out, A FAT LOUD MOUTH, GUN-TOATING BORN AGAIN PREACHING, REPUBLICAN BLACK HATING, EX-BALL PLAYER. It will either make for a great sitcom or one awful biography.

Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office......

2009-02-24T18:02:00.002-05:00

My first visit to Fenway Park was when I was in college in the early '90s. My first visit was supposed to be in 1978 but the games were rained out. It was a family vacation and it was my first step into MASSHOLE land. 1978 was a great year for Yankees baseball, well the second half at least. They trailed the Sux by like 13 games in July, I think (my dates could be off a bit, my statistician was recently let go) and the Sux were pretty good. They had big Jim Rice, Fred Lynn, that douche-bag Carlton Fisk, Luis Tiant and the Spaceman to name a few. But the Yanks, well the Yanks had the greats - Munson, Pinella, Jackson, Nettles, Guidry, Goose the list could go on, but you get the gist of the awesomeness!
It started on the drive from NJ in the station wagon which packed with four kids and my parents was a crazy drive, I believe I blocked out most of it. My brothers were probably making fun of me most of the trip to say the least! We were heading up the MASS Pike trucking along to Boston, things were good. Then as we got closer to the city people kept honking their horns like crazy at us, people were flipping us off, shaking fists, etc. At first we thought it was just because we had NJ plates, but then the investigation took a turn. My brother or mother not sure who did it, had stuck a Yankees Pennant in our side back window of the car facing out! These MASSHOLES saw that and it wouldn't have mattered if the Pope was with us they wouldn't have any of it. Long story short, we removed the pennant from our window, probably because I was crying or something like that and continued into the city.
But that was my first taste of these heathens, these drunks and racists, and I was only 6 years old. That's not something a six year old should have to endure and it wasn't until 13 years later that I was thrust into the scene never to look back.
At first I was the obnoxious Yankees fan spouting numbers, and players and history in my almost hourly arguments with these goons, but I soon realized I could not win. I was a foreigner in their land and had to take it. I then shut down after that for years because I realized that no matter what I said you can't win an argument with these bastards, and being from NJ didn't help because once the berating of my beloved Yankees ended, then the NJ taunts would come out. I've heard them all and now looking back I realize that, man, I should have really sought out counseling. But in a way this little blog has become my therapist. I say what I want, I take the taunts, but I've learned to not listen and let it get to me like it used to.
Because when it comes down to it, I AM A YANKEES FAN... I AM BETTER THAN YOU... I WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN YOU... YOU ARE A MASSHOLE, and there's nothing worse than that.

You know Washington died of a Pneumonia!

2009-02-21T23:16:00.010-05:00

Sorry folks we've had a crazy week here at Ftheredsox, I've been down with a pneumonia and everyone felt they could take the week off! Needless to say Ftheredsox is hiring! But I'm back now, not 100% but will be posting articles in between my bouts with fever and chills.

I like David Ortiz, I always love watching him hit, but now with Manny gone, he can't shut up! Doesn't he realize that he needs to keep his mouth shut! The more you talk Papi the more things are going to come out and the more people will dig, and lately when they dig, they usually find something.

You tell me, all Papi did was workout with this trainer Angel Presinal in the Dominican Republic and not do anything else? He didn't do anything for Papi? Didn't "get" him anything?

I love the picture of Papi on the Twins so I had to bring it out again, enjoy!

Before and After, perhaps?

Telegram for Mongo....

2009-02-13T13:09:00.006-05:00

Every so often I happen to glance at our email or comments that are posted, most of the time I usually have an F-tern who takes care of that. The past few weeks my F-terns have been retrieving past emails and comments and forcing me to read some of them. I felt if I have to read them, you're gonna read them to!
So below I complied a list of some of the better emails/comments I've received from fans over the past few months, enjoy. I've copied them just like they were sent, so don't give me shit if there are grammatical errors, you douche!

Isn't it about time you put that 12 gauge in your mouth and pull the trigger? It isn't going to get any better for you.

* WHY DON'T YOU KILL YOURSELF OR LEAVE BOSTON!

* Dude... you have issues. At first I thought this website was purely some vehicle to launch out insane rants to drive site visitors so you could make some paltry some affiliate links or google adword traffic - but... it does appear that you are truly nuts when you discount someone that actually gets killed in a yankees/redsox related incident. Holy shite... Gawd help your family and GF... although I am quite certain she is your regular punching bag for your own emotional and physical short comings...Lol

* Wow you're real queer. If you hate the sox get out of boston and go to new york with all the other people with sticks up there ass... or in the yankees case jeters penis

* All you people useing the word SUX fans get some creativity will ya? Now tell me WHYYYYY the fuck you live in boston if your were a yankee fan? Why would you do it? you know the shits gunna hit the fans when your dumb new york ass walks in and starts running your mouth about your dumbfuck team. If you just stay in your city and we stay in ours none of this stupid fighting would happen.

* Are you in therapy? You obviously have some serious, underlying issues that need attention. You should be embarrassed by that "transcript" Do you dislike everyone who has a different opinion from yours? Funny you say you hate the Sox more than Hitler. There's irony in that statement given the content of this blog

* You yankee piece of SHIT...KILL YOURSELF!!!

* Could you possibly be the bigger loser? I found your little blog by accident while googling something else. You are an absolute DOUCHE BAG! Why don't you compose a list of NY dick holes like Billy Crystal or all the front-running fake ass celebrity "fans" in the front row... it's like a goddam Laker game. Just fucking KILL YOURSELF and get the hell out of Boston. Go back to that shit hole to the south that we bannished all the riff raff to back in the early 1800's. If you live in Boston now, then you have to be #1 on that list you cunt. DIE!!!

* I can't wait to fuck your mother while watching Remy do the announcing and Big Papi anally raping your sister! FUCK YOU YANKEE PRICK!

* If you honestly can compare a sports team to Hitler then you have major issues son. Get the fuck out of Boston you pissant...

And of course we all know the cous de grace!

* It appears as someone who spends their life following the accomplishments of others you'd have nothing to write if other didn't put it up there for you. You're quite the literary genius, tactful too. Mentioning the city of Boston with the most reviled and despicable human to walk this planet. Oh and your butchering of the English language and awesome 14 year old usage of F bombs is so cool. Oh and it was awesome how you somehow turned Alex testing positive into a "why are we worried about this when the world is going to hell in a handbasket", that's creative as heck. Make yourself happy and move your sorry butt out of the city so beneath someone as awesome as you apparently are. Oh and awesome email address too. There are unread blogs that get more spam in an hour than your site does in a year, but hey, keep on 'speaking the truth' and 'telling it it like it is' CHB junior.

Who said I have to actually write full length articles every day?

2009-02-12T14:23:00.004-05:00

The last word on Curt Schilling for now, well for at least a weekend maybe!
I was reading his blog, actually counting the seconds until he published a new article, it seems he takes longer to write an article than I do! Anyway, I decided to read some of the comments that people send to 'Ole Iron Jaws Schilling, because if the articles are written by a Whacko the fact that people leave him comments will shed some light into their perspective psyche. (Pause for about twenty minutes while I read the comments) And after further review I was wrong, for the most part the people actually disagree with him, wow, didn't see that one coming. I feel a lot better now.

The Onion continues to publish funny articles and I thought I had to publish the article here in case you never read their site, it's good stuff!

A-Rod Dead At 33

NEW YORK—Baseball legend and mythical figure A-Rod, the New York Yankee third baseman and three-time American League Most Valuable Player, was declared dead Saturday after it was reported, and later confirmed, that the former Seattle Mariner and Texas Rangers All-Star tested positive for two anabolic steroids during the 2003 baseball season.
Enlarge Image Arod

A-Rod was 33.

"A-Rod was a person, but a much better baseball player," a statement from the New York Yankees' front office read in part. "We only hope that members of the press will respect our wishes for privacy during this very difficult period. We can assure you that the Yankee organization is going to be haunted by A-Rod's passing for a very, very long time, or at least until his contract expires in 2017."

"Though A-Rod has been taken from us, his impact on this team has been greater in the past few days than it has ever been before," the statement continued. "It feels like he's not even gone."

Born in Texas in late 2000 after signing a 10-year, $252 million contract with the Rangers that made him the highest paid baseball player in league history, the idea of A-Rod quickly became one of baseball's most divisive images. He often wowed fans with his raw, natural talent on the diamond, but at the same time infuriated them with what many called a manufactured, robotic persona.

The loss of A-Rod comes as a shock to those in the sporting community and to baseball fans across the nation, many of whom had hoped that A-Rod—the youngest player to ever hit 500 home runs and arguably the greatest all-around baseball player of his generation—would surpass Barry Bonds' career total of 762 home runs without resorting to the use of performance enhancing drugs, thereby restoring credibility and dignity to sports' most cherished record.

A-Rod's untimely end—coming as it did in the prime of his career, just as it seemed he was poised to usher in a brand-new era of baseball on the strength of his God-given physical talents alone—has forever destroyed that hope.

As of press time, the Yankees, in conjunction with Major League Baseball, are not planning any type of formal tribute to honor their fallen star's memory. In addition, when asked if the jersey belonging to the 10-time Silver Slugger Award winner, multiple Gold Glove Award recipient, and 12-time American League All-Star would be retired in Yankee Stadium, or even if his bust would one day be enshrined in baseball's Hall of Fame, no comment was forthcoming from either the Yankees or Hall of Fame voters.

"I talked to [A-Rod] the day before he went to his reward, and he sounded completely fine," New York Yankee manager Joe Girardi said. "He said he was working out and looking forward to the start of the new season. And then I heard the news on Saturday, and I was just floored. Now that A-Rod is no longer with us, it's like this season doesn't even matter."

"I'm sure he's in a better place," Girardi continued. "Then again, probably not."

While there is no evidence to suggest foul play, some in the baseball community have speculated that A-Rod actually succumbed to self-inflicted injuries. Immediately after the tragedy was announced, former baseball player and fellow 40/40 club member Jose Canseco told reporters that he saw A-Rod's demise coming a mile away.

"There is no doubt in my mind that he did this to himself," Canseco said. "All the warning signs were there: the surprising power from a shortstop, the spike in home runs, the mood swings where he acted like a complete idiot. The guy has been knocking on death's door since 2003, and everyone wanted to pretend like it wasn't true. I'm not going to get into it too much here because the rest will be in my book coming out next month."

Added Canseco: "Trust me, Albert Pujols will be dead inside a year."

Even former Yankee teammate Derek Jeter agreed with Canseco, saying that while he sends his condolences to A-Rod's family and friends—"if he even has any of those"—he had known that A-Rod was a time bomb waiting to go off.

"Unfortunately, I didn't do anything, because, well, I know it's not proper to speak ill of the dead, but now that he's gone I can say this for the record: I didn't really like the guy," Jeter said. "I never liked him. He was a jerk, a fake. The only thing he had going for him was his unlimited potential and tremendous on-field ability, but now that he's been taken from us that really doesn't mean anything."

Even A-Rod's final words, spoken on the eve of his death—"You'll have to talk to the Union.... I'm not saying anything"—were characteristic of his inability to be genuinely human.

A-Rod is survived by 33-year-old Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez, a divorced father of two who is currently in therapy and who, despite being in extremely good physical condition and possessing the ability to hit 500-foot home runs, has no future in baseball whatsoever.

You say potato... I say ur Gay!

2009-02-11T14:58:00.004-05:00

WOW! The office here is going crazy, the amount of requests for interviews and video conferences is off the hook. We of course never give an interview at Ftheredsox, but after yesterday, well it's pressure. When I say pressure I mean I have now devoted to give you an update daily! That's right folks, every day you'll be hearing from me! Now that's pressure. Thank God I'm surrounded by MASSHOLES, they give me a plethora of ideas! And the fact that Big Mouth Bass Schilling has gone off the deep end it just wonderful. Have you looked at his blog recently? He is now talking politics, I mean one thing a Major League Baseball Player should never do! That's a written fact and I even think it's in the Geneva Convention. He's bashing Obama and the New York Times. I think we have good idea what his life after Baseball is like, that poor, poor man!

People are asking me how I feel, and I tell them I feel exhilarated! You remember that Seinfeld episode where Jerry gets heckled by that annoying broad with the laugh, and then he goes to her office and heckles her? That's how I feel, millions of blogs are written every day and usually about someone and something, but how many get a response from the person they are writing about or bashing??? Not many, our marketing department is compiling the numbers as we speak. Well Suckas... I DID!!! A Major League Baseball Player (even though he's an ex-player) bashed me or attempted to bash me in an email and it was AWESOME!!
I have felt a certain amount of pride and well, reward for one comment Tuba Mouth Schilling made when he called me "CHB Junior". At the time I didn't know what it meant, but again, my crack staff tracked it down. Apparently, Dan Shaughnessy, a columnist for the Globe, also a known enemy of Venus FlyTrap Schilling is called "CHB" it means Curley Haired Boyfriend, in reference to Shaughnessy's curly hair. So to put me on the same plateau has Shaughnessy well that was a LOW BLOW!! DAMN YOU CURT, YOU'VE GOT ME AGAIN!!
Come on man, "CHB"? How about "URGAY"?